Okay ppl............. I ll be continuing my blog post on eff. communication.....
Akshay chari(in a comment) pointed out that the techniques require an overhauling.....
So here i go...
# 4. Never the naked names
You've been there. You are introduced to someone in a party or school.
" Rohit, I'd like u to meet this buddy of mine Shalini. Shalini, this is Rohit."
Duh, what do u expect Rohit and Shalini to say now ?
"Rohit? Umm thatz R-O-H-I-T, isnt it?"
The talks at a standstill. None of the parties know wat to say next...
Dont blame Rohit or Shalini here for being less than scintillating. The fault lies with the person who introduced them this way - with naked names.
Good conversation can be like...
"Shalini, I'd like u to meet Rohit. Rohit has an awesome hand at painting... Rohit, this is Shalini. Shalini's stamp collection would amaze you."
Thats called padding the conversation. Padding it gives Shalini to ask wat themes does Rohit paint ? It gives Rohit an opportunity to ask if he can see her stamps some day...
So, next time u introduce ppl, never use the naked names.... Give the two of them some bait to start the conversation between themselves.
#5. Boomeranging the compliments
Upon recieving a compliment, many ppl demure or proffer an embarassed little "thank you". Worse, they protest," Well not really, but thanks anyway". When you react this way, you visit a grave injustice at the complimenter. You insult a well meaning person's power of perception.
You would have witnessed it. Compliment anyone on orkut about a nice pic. of thiers and all u recieve is a
"thank you."
A small little thank u.
They say french is one of the sweetest languages.....right ? ( some of us in XII read that in the chapter "the last lesson")....
In french when someone compliments you, ppl say
"Vous Etes Gentil"
....
Which, roughly translated means
"How kind of you."
Its called boomeranging. Just as a boomerang returns right back to the thrower, let compliments boomerang right back to the giver. Like the french, quickly murmur something that expresses "That's very kind of you."
Lemme explain...
She says,"I like those shoes." You say,"Oh i am so happy you told me.I just got them."
He says,"You really did a very good job on this science/economics project."
You say,"Thats so nice of you to tell me. Thanks for the positive feedback."
He:"How was ur vaccation to dehradun ? "
You say,"Oh you remember i went to dehradun ! It was great,Thanks."
Your friend,"Are you over your cold now ?"
You answer,"I appreciate your concern.I feel much better now."
Whenever someone shines a little sunshine in your life in the form of a compliment or concerned question, reflect it back to him/her. He/she will love you for that.
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That was it ppl......... Theres more to come on the same topic. And i sincerely thank Akshay Chari for showing me his genuine goodwill.
Post a comment. Direct me .....
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Sunday, May 11, 2008
communication styles............continued
Labels:
compliments,
conversation,
introduction,
name
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